It’s the first Wednesday of the month which means it’s time for the Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG). Created by Ninja Master Alex J. Cavanaugh, this group is a monthly bloghop where fellow writers can get the support they need or offer support and inspiration.
I’m a bad writer. I’m not saying what I write sucks (though, like everyone, there are times when I think it does), I’m saying that I’ve been slacking. I have two books that need to be edited. I had the entire month of August to do at least one of them. Do you know how far I got? Three chapters. And not even completely! I keep going back to chapter one to fix this and fix that. And then I reread chapter two and fix something there. I’ve not even finished the first complete edit on chapter three (this is second round edits, so there was already some minor editing done a few months ago, but not much).
I procrastinate. I find other things to do to keep me busy so I don’t look at the open program. Yes, I do open it, but I don’t look at it. I tell myself, “Today, I’m gonna get stuff done!” and then I don’t. I’ve had a couple of good days where I’ve done some good edits, but it’s still just in the first three chapters. Most of the time, I’m either doing dishes, watching TV, or playing around online. Nowhere in there is editing getting done.
In early August, I signed up for the #GUTGAA Blogfest/Pitch Contest, because I planned on being done with the book’s edits by now. Goal Fail! I’m still going to do #GUTGAA, maybe get a little help with my pitch when it’s time, but I’m not going to participate in the contest. I will use it as a learning experience. Most of the agents participating are at the top of my I WANT YOU TO REPRESENT ME!! list. It will be good to see first hand what they say about the pitches they get.
I know why I’ve been procrastinating so much. You know too. Say it with me-
kind of an a-hole. It wraps around you and squeezes tight until you can’t think straight.
The worst part about it all is that this fear has kept me from reading too. Odd? Not really since reading inspires me. When I read a good book, I want to go make my book better. When I read a bad book, I want to go make my book better. This makes FEAR mad, so it tells me not to read. It tells me that I will never be as good as the books I’m reading. Even the bad ones. So I don’t read.
I recently sent out a call for crit partners and had several answers (you guys are super awesome!!) and I’m thankful for it. It means I have deadlines. I will have no room for excuses and the perfect reason to kick FEAR’s butt back into the recesses from which it came. A certain amount of fear is good. It makes you want to do better. This amount of fear is debilitating and can kiss my pretty petooty.
Anyways. That’s where I’m at now. Thanks for being there to listen IWSG! If I could, I would by you all tiny pterodactyls. Or Zombie Gnomes. Instead, I’ll just bake you a bunch of virtual cookies of your choice=)
How do you deal with your writing fears?