This weekend I suffered severe anxiety attacks about my writing. Saturday wasn’t so bad. I was able to get some work on a few flash fiction pieces done, but Sunday was HORRID! I couldn’t write a single thing.
At first, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I wanted to write, but at the same time, I didn’t. It happened the most when I sat in front of my WIP. On Saturday I couldn’t write anything on it, but the flash fiction was simple enough. By Sunday, I couldn’t even do that. So, I sat down to figure out what was going on inside my head.
It has to do with my WIP. Right now, it’s in third person… And it just isn’t right. It needs to be in first. I’ve thought this for a while, but it hasn’t affected me until this weekend.
No… I take that back. It started affecting me last week, but minimally. Last week, I caught myself writing in first a few times and had to go back and put it back in third. And that’s where it all really hit the fan…
I want this book in first. It NEEDS to be in first. I feel it in my bones that first person perspective is the ONLY way this story can be told.
But I’m just over 75% done with the thing (see side bar). Sure, I’m going to go over the word count goal I set up, but I knew that when I reached the 50% mark. The point is, do I want to go back and rewrite the whole thing now? Or do I wait and finish it in third, then rewrite the entire thing?
Either option presents a daunting task. It’s worth it though, to get this book just right. So I had to make a decision. Rewrite now, or rewrite after written?
I chose the second option… And I’m writing again. It isn’t about which was the right choice. It was about making the choice in the first place. I couldn’t move on in my writing until I knew what I was going to do.
If you’ve faced the same problem, you may have made a different choice. It depends completely upon the individual person and the situation. This is the right choice for me, right now. If I have the same problem again on a later work in progress, a different choice may be better for me.
I anticipate more anxiety from my writing. But I won’t run away from it. I didn’t this time. I fleshed it out, made a choice, and feel like I’m a better writer for it. I’ve learned some things about myself and about my writing that has given me an extra helping of “GET IT DONE!” juice=)
Once the book is complete, I will go back and rewrite and revise. All I have to do is tell the same story in a different format. It will be hard, but it won’t break me. And I’m sure I’ll learn a few more things along the way too.