Evil Ninja Cat Will Jump Through Your Window

Yes, it is true. Here’s what happened:

Evil Cat is Evil
By Stephen Scott

Hubs and I were tucking Precious into bed last night. She was up past her bedtime anyway, so we thought we would hang out with her and talk and laugh and joke around a little bit more. Our cat, Oz, a pretty tuxedo with amazing green eyes (I’m obsessed with her eyes!) was walking around and investigating what was going on. She loves, loves, loves Precious to the moon and back and has a very protective streak. Once she realized that we were in fact just talking to Precious, Oz walked out and left us to it.

      A few minutes later, we were doing our final tuck-in and good-nights when Oz interrupts with this crazy growl-meow that I have never heard come out of her mouth before. The sound was too big for my little cat!! I go in search of her, not having to look far.

       Oz is in my room, sitting in a window and spit-growling at another cat outside.

       I’m about to tell Oz to cool it when I get a better look at the other cat… It had *crazy* eyes!! I could see, just by the way the cat looked at me, met my eyes, that it is EVIL!!

       My suspicions were correct, for at that moment, the moment I saw it and it saw me…

       It launched itself at the window!

       Now, it is pretty chilly out (what is going on with the month of May?) and so, thankfully, all the windows are closed. This did not sway the cat whatsoever.
       He hurled himself at the window and LANDED ON IT!! I kid you not, this cat stood on the window in complete defiance of gravity. He then threw himself backward into the air where he did at least seven somersaults (I lost count after that), landed on his feet, and proceeded to do it again THREE MORE TIMES!!!

       I, in a shocked and disbelieving state, squeak through clenched vocal chords, “A cat is trying to jump through our window!”

       Hubs, being the awesome man that he is (he did fix the dryer all by himself after all!), swept through our room and into the living room where he ripped open the front door and jumped out after Evil Ninja Cat.

       The cat was too fast for him to see though, being all Ninja-like, so he asked me what the cat looked like.

       I step out onto the porch in trepidation. (I know this furry tabby cat is still around and it is a NINJA! It could sneak up on me and scratch my eyes out 5 minutes before I realize anything is wrong!!) I hide behind Hubs, his shirt clenched in my fists, as I look around trying to spot anything out of the ordinary.

      “I think it ran off,” I whisper, a small amount of relief passing through my almost-overwhelming fear of Evil Ninja Cat.

      Suddenly, I see it.

      “No! It’s there! Under the truck!” I pointed.

      He had taken up a spot in shadow, only his evil glowing eyes giving away his position. As if sensing a fight he wasn’t ready for, Evil Ninja Cat ran off into the darkness.

      The rest of the night I spent peering out the windows all around my house, just waiting for Evil Ninja Cat to return.

      He didn’t try to jump through any more windows last night, but the goosebumps on my skin and the hair on my neck standing on end warned me of his presence. He is watching and waiting; biding his time for when he will attack again. He is planning something and I aim to be prepared for it…

About Katie Doyle

Katie Doyle is an avid reader, writer of NA and Adult fiction, a mom to two tornadoes that resemble an eight and six year old, and pet to a tuxedo cat named Oz and a German Shepherd/Boxer rescue named Charlie. If she's not reading, writing, or getting Oz out of a tree, she's screaming at characters on TV and trying not to curse around her kids.
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